Rebuilding Life After Religion
Leaving a high-control religion involves more than just changing your mind. It can affect relationships, identity, sexuality, grief, purpose - and even the way you think about death.
You get to build a life that reflects who you are now.
Religion would have us starve to death at the buffet table of life. I want my clients to swap judgment for curiosity, and dig in.
How do I know if I have religious trauma syndrome?
Take the free religious trauma quiz, no email required
By answering a series of targeted questions, you’ll gain insights into whether your struggles are related to your past religious experiences. This can be an important first step in recognizing the impact of religious trauma on your life and seeking the appropriate support and resources for healing.
What is Religious Trauma Syndrome?
Leaving a high-control religion can be a deeply traumatic experience, often leading to a condition known as Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS). This complex form of post-traumatic stress disorder can profoundly impact an individual’s mental health, self-identity, and relationships.
Understanding RTS is crucial for those affected and those supporting them. This page explores what RTS is, its causes, symptoms, treatment options, and how to identify it. By delving into these aspects, we aim to shed light on the journey to recovery and emphasize that no one has to face this struggle alone.
Communication & Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries help protect your wellbeing while allowing relationships with religious family members to remain respectful whenever possible.
Sexuality & Relationships
Leaving religion often means separating inherited messages about sexuality, relationships, and gender from the values that genuinely feel like your own.
Death, Dying & Meaning
Leaving religion often means letting go of certainty about the afterlife. That loss can bring grief, fear, and difficult questions about morality and meaning.
Education & Critical Thinking
Many former believers discover that learning itself can feel surprisingly complicated. Healing involves learning to trust your own ability to ask thoughtful questions, evaluate evidence, and think with confidence.
Fear of Hell
Fear of hell can linger long after beliefs have changed, but understanding how fear conditioning works can help loosen its grip.
Identity, Purpose & Meaning
Religious trauma recovery is an opportunity to discover who you are, what matters to you, and the life you want to create.
The Divorcing Religion Podcast with Janice Selbie
Religious Trauma Blog
Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook
What happens when your entire worldview crumbles?
Best-selling author Janice Selbie takes readers on a candid journey through the heart of fundamentalist Christianity and out the other side in this compelling memoir and practical guide.
From devout believer to religious trauma recovery expert, Selbie shares her experiences with unflinching honesty and unexpected humor.
In Divorcing Religion, Janice recounts:
Growing up in an evangelical household
Her struggles with purity culture and identity
The crisis of faith that led to leaving religion behind
Her sometimes messy path to rebuilding a life beyond belief
But Divorcing Religion offers more than just a personal story. Drawing from her expertise as a registered professional counselor specializing in religious trauma, Janice provides a comprehensive "Survival Handbook" for those breaking free from religious indoctrination.
This book is an invaluable resource for anyone questioning their faith, healing from religious trauma, or curious about life after fundamentalism.
Guides & Workbooks
Ready to untangle old beliefs and build a life that fits you now?
The ULTIMATE Deconstruction Guide & Workbook is your compassionate, step-by-step companion through the messy, beautiful work of questioning faith, healing from harmful doctrines, and discovering who you are beyond religion.
Created by Master Practitioner Clinical Counsellor and religious trauma specialist Janice Selbie, this workbook brings together powerful exercises, grounded psychology, and practical tools to help you release fear, reclaim your voice, and grow into your truest self.
Whether you're just beginning to question or are already deep in the wilderness of deconstruction, you will find clear guidance, encouragement, and a path forward you can trust.
You don't need to navigate this alone. Open these pages and take your next step toward clarity, freedom, and a life built on your own values.
Your healing starts here.
Additional resources to help you explore how religious indoctrination can shape identity, relationships, beliefs, and life after religion.
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Cults, Extremism, & Undue Influence - Janja Lalich
Recovering From Religion - includes a hotline, online & in-person support groups, RfRx podcast
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Some of my favorite podcasts about religious deconversion/deconstruction and high-demand groups
include: -
Leaving the Fold, by Dr. Marlene Winell
Trusting Doubt, by Dr. Valerie Tarico
The God Virus, by Dr. Darrel Ray
Sex and God, by Dr. Darrel Ray
Bounded Choice, by Dr. Janja Lalich
Goodbye Jesus, by Tim Sledge
Wayward, by Alice Greczyn
A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings
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Articles for those recovering from religious trauma syndrome:
Dr. Tarico also has a fantastic video series on YouTube.