Janice Selbie, MPCC
Clinical Counsellor ⋅ Author ⋅ Speaker ⋅ Educator
My passion is helping people build greater trust in themselves and create lives and relationships that reflect who they are today.
I work with people navigating life transitions, relationship challenges, identity shifts, and personal growth, as well as those recovering from religious trauma or rebuilding their lives after leaving religion.
My own journey taught me how valuable it can be to have someone alongside you during periods of profound change.
My Story
📍Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
After decades immersed in religious fundamentalism, my life is now shaped by curiosity, independence, and the freedom to explore.
When I divorced religion, I made a decision: I would deny myself nothing. I gave myself permission to experience everything, from the domestic to the erotic, on my own terms.
I was raised in a Pentecostal Christian family and eventually married a man who became a pastor. Over time, I became increasingly conservative in my religious practice, wearing a head covering and homeschooling our children.
Makeup, jewelry, television, secular music, and magazines were replaced by Christian music, Focus on the Family, and the teachings of Bill Gothard. I jokingly referred to myself as “Mennocostal” and frequently attended closed churches run by Holdeman Mennonites.
Eventually, doubts began creeping into beliefs I had once considered unshakable. As my marriage unraveled, the questions grew. I began thinking differently about sexuality and gender roles, equality and social justice, and the ways religion had shaped my understanding of myself and the world.
Fundamentalism gave me little room to question, or even imagine, possibilities outside the life I had been taught to accept. I felt like a beach ball held underwater for too long, with sadness, confusion, curiosity, and anger pushing toward the surface. Eventually, something had to give.
After ending my decades-long marriage, I returned to school and earned my Diploma of Applied Psychology and Counselling. It was the beginning of a very different chapter, personally and professionally, and eventually led to the work I do today.
Outside my work, you'll find me bird-watching, reading, writing, volunteering, rehearsing stand-up comedy, and enjoying thoughtful conversations. Each is part of the meaningful life I continue to build for myself, now guided by curiosity, connection, humour, and the freedom to explore - instead of the obedience and subservience that once shaped my life.
I hope to serve as both a mirror and a lantern:
A mirror that helps people recognize their inherent worth, and a lantern that helps illuminate the path ahead without deciding where it should lead.
I want people to know that life after belief change can be healthy, satisfying, and full of meaning.
Professional Experience
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I’ve been a professional coach and counsellor for over a decade and am now a Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling (MPCC). I specialize in recovery from religious trauma, including purity culture indoctrination, by helping individuals process their experiences, rebuild their identities, and reclaim their personal autonomy. Beliefs, boundaries, communication, and self-worth are important aspects of my work.
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I’ve interviewed several well-known authors, psychologists, and atheist activists including Margaret Atwood, Seth Andrews, Matt Dillahunty, Sasha Sagan, and many more.
Divorcing Religion Podcast: A thought-provoking podcast featuring in-depth conversations with experts, survivors, and thought leaders on topics related to faith deconstruction, mental health, and thriving beyond religion.
SEX & POWER Podcast: Sex & Power is a bold podcast that examines how belief systems, culture, and authority shape our experiences of sex, identity, oppression, and personal agency.
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I’m the best-selling author of Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook (Prominence Publishing, 2024), which explores religious deconstruction and recovery through lived experience, practical guidance, and tools for rebuilding identity, autonomy, and well-being.
My forthcoming book, The Guru Gene: From Blind Faith to Clear Thinking in an Age of Influence, explores our attraction to certainty, charismatic leaders, conspiracy theories, and compelling beliefs. It offers practical ways to recognize manipulation, question assumptions, and think more clearly.
As an educator, I create conferences, workshops, guides, and other resources that make complex topics accessible and practical, with a focus on religious trauma, critical thinking, identity, relationships, sexuality, and personal growth.
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I’ve presented at conferences, symposia, workshops, and other events in the USA, Canada, the UK, Sweden, Switzerland, and Australia, speaking on religious trauma, identity reconstruction, critical thinking, sexuality, and life after religion.
Conferences I founded:
Conference on Religious Trauma (CORT): An international conference bringing together experts, survivors, and advocates to explore the impact of religious trauma and high-control religion.
Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture: An international conference exploring the impact of purity culture and supporting healthier, shame-free approaches to sexuality, relationships, and identity.
Selected speaking engagements include:
Western Canadian Reason Conference
BC Humanist Association
Conference on Death, Grief, and Belief
Symposium on Spiritual Bypassing
Release & Reclaim Retreat with Dr. Marlene Winell
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I have been a guest on more than 50 international podcasts, YouTube shows, and media programs, including:
Ask Doctor Death
The Cult Vault
Dismantling Doctrine/MindShift
Fifty Shades of Bullshit
Free Thought Radio (Freedom From Religion Foundation)
Graceful Atheist
Heaven Bent
The Horny Chapel
I Was a Teenage Fundamentalist
Out of the Fold
RfRx/Recovering From Religion
Secular Sexuality
Sensibly Speaking
Sex and the Solo Girl
The Thinking Atheist
Unordained
VIRGIN.BEAUTY.B!TCH
What The Church?
Your Therapist Needs Therapy
I was also honored to participate in the acclaimed Swedish documentary, Leaving Jesus (2024, Momento Films).
Articles & Interviews:
How I can help
Whether we meet in a video call, on a conference stage, or through my books and workshops, my goal is to help people think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and move forward on their own terms.
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One-to-one and group support for navigating relationships, communication, boundaries, anxiety, grief, life transitions, adverse religious experiences, and personal growth.
Schedule a Free 1:1 Consultation
1:1 Coaching and Counselling
Free Religious Trauma Support Group
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Support for understanding and recovering from religious trauma, spiritual abuse, purity culture, and high-control groups while reclaiming agency and building life on your own terms.
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Understanding ourselves can be an important part of healing and growth. Learn more with me about religious trauma, human behaviour, sexuality, coercive control, critical thinking, and the forces that shape how we think, relate, and make decisions.
Podcasts & Conferences
Shop Books & Guides
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I’m an experienced speaker and educator available for conferences, professional development, workshops, and special events, both online and in person. I speak to counsellors and therapists, professional and community organizations, and interest groups about religious trauma and recovery, purity culture, indoctrination and coercive control, agency and identity, sexuality, critical thinking, and the forces that shape belief and behaviour.
Presentations can be tailored to the interests, experience, and professional needs of your audience.
About my practice
I envision a world where people feel free to question, grow, change, and build lives that reflect who they are today.
My mission is to help people strengthen their identity, agency, and trust in themselves through practical tools that support autonomy, healthy relationships, and psychological well-being.
I support people through life transitions, relationships, and personal growth, with particular expertise in religious trauma and life after religion.
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Though I am based in British Columbia, Canada, all of my sessions and support groups are held virtually. I’ve helped clients around the world - and I can help you, too.
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Coaching is available to adults internationally and focuses primarily on the present and future. It can help you clarify what matters to you, recognize patterns, strengthen skills, explore options, and take practical steps toward meaningful change.
As an MPCC, I also provide counselling to adults in Canada. Counselling allows for deeper therapeutic exploration of past experiences and how they may be affecting your life today, while developing tools to support healing, growth, and well-being.
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I work with adults navigating questions and challenges around identity, purpose, relationships, and beliefs. Whether you come from a religious background or not, it can be difficult to separate who you are from who you’ve been expected to be.
Our work can help you reclaim your sense of agency and build a life that feels genuinely your own.
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I want our sessions to be a place where you can be yourself, without judgment or pressure.
I offer both a mirror and a lantern: a mirror to help you see yourself and your patterns more clearly, and a lantern to illuminate possibilities as you find your way forward.
My approach is warm, practical, and collaborative, with room for humour and encouragement. I believe in your capacity to grow, make meaningful changes, and trust your own judgment.
If we might be a good fit, schedule a free consultation.
Respect
We protect autonomy and reject coercion in all its forms.
Curiosity
We replace certainty with inquiry and encourage critical thinking.
Courage
We speak the truth without distortion, even when it challenges beliefs.
Candor
We name harm clearly and support people in confronting it safely.
I offer free, one-on-one 20 minute consultations if you’d like to see what it’s like to work with me.
People’s paths are different, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to walk alongside each and every one. Here are a few reflections from clients, colleagues, group members, and readers.
“I cannot begin to thank you enough for your words and ears. Thank you for the work you do. I felt so relieved to be able to talk to someone who can genuinely understand and went through the same thing. I will go through each resource and video you’ve recommended. Looking forward to our next meeting.”
— Anonymous, former Missionary Kid“You’ve given me so much peace and clarity helping me navigate my new life, my mental health has NEVER been better. I didn’t have time at the end to say all of this when the session was ending but I still wanted to reach out and tell you how much that meant to me. Thank you for guiding me to such a place of happiness in my path! I always look forward to our sessions. Thank you Janice!”
— Anonymous, former Pentecostal"Leaving my Orthodox community was very hard.
Your support made it less scary. Thank you, Janice."
— Anonymous, former Orthodox JewYouTube, Podcast, and Conference Host
With over 5 thousand subcribers on YouTube, I regularly sit down with notable personalities such as Margaret Atwood, Matt Dillahunty and Seth Andrews.
2026 Speaking Events
Couple’s Counselling Center (April ) - EFT Integration for RTS Symptom Clusters
Western Canadian Reason Conference (May) – How to Avoid Prison After Family Dinner
BCHA AGM (May) – How to Avoid Prison After Family Dinner
Journey Free Helping Professionals (June) – Communication Strategies for Difficult Conversations
KASHA (June) 18 – Separating from Religion
Spiritual Bypassing Symposium (July) – Disenfranchised Grief and Spiritual Bypassing
Beyond the Textbook Conference (November)
To learn more about my work as a professional speaker on both religious and secular topics, please refer to my speaking page or download my media kits below.
Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook
What happens when your entire worldview crumbles?
Best-selling author Janice Selbie takes readers on a candid journey through the heart of fundamentalist Christianity and out the other side in this compelling memoir and practical guide.
From devout believer to religious trauma recovery expert, Selbie shares her experiences with unflinching honesty and unexpected humor.
In Divorcing Religion, Janice recounts:
Growing up in an evangelical household
Her struggles with purity culture and identity
The crisis of faith that led to leaving religion behind
Her sometimes messy path to rebuilding a life beyond belief
But Divorcing Religion offers more than just a personal story. Drawing from her expertise as a registered professional counselor specializing in religious trauma, Janice provides a comprehensive "Survival Handbook" for those breaking free from religious indoctrination.
This book is an invaluable resource for anyone questioning their faith, healing from religious trauma, or curious about life after fundamentalism.
Wherever you are on your journey, I’ll meet you there.
No judgment served. Just compassion, gentle humor, and a deep desire to help. All appointments are virtual.
People choose to come to counselling or coaching for many different reasons, including:
Anxiety and stress
Boundaries and people-pleasing
Burnout
Grief and loss
Life transitions
Perfectionism
Relationships and communication
Religious trauma and faith transitions
Self-esteem and self-trust
Your reason for reaching out doesn’t need to fit neatly into a category. A consultation is simply a chance to talk about what’s bringing you here and whether working together feels like a good fit.
I offer a free, 20 minute 1:1 discovery consultation for those interested in coaching or counselling for religious trauma
We also hold affordable 6 week support groups covering rotating themes, such as navigating anger after deconstruction.
FAQs
What is Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS)?
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Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is a condition experienced by individuals who have left high-control religions, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and identity confusion. It results from the psychological and emotional abuse associated with oppressive religious environments.
Do I have to be dealing with religious trauma to work with you?
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Not at all. I welcome clients working through a wide range of concerns — including communication challenges, grief and loss, identity issues, anxiety, and relationship difficulties. Whether or not religion plays a role in what you're experiencing, you're welcome here.
What kinds of issues do you help with?
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I works with clients on a variety of concerns, including:
Religious Trauma and leaving high-control environments
Grief and loss
Identity development and self-understanding
Communication and relationship issues
Anxiety and depression
Life transitions
If you're not sure whether your situation is a fit, feel free to schedule a free consultation to ask.
What is your cancellation policy?
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You may cancel any bookings up until 24 hours prior to your appointment. After that, you will be charged in full.